Greeting Cards
"Parenting Is LIke..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"parenting is like the bar scene: everyone's yelling, everything's sticky, it's the same music over and over again, and occasionally someone pukes." Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope;...
"Condoms Prevent Minivans" Card
$ 4.50 USD
"condoms prevent minivans" Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank inside
"Best Friends Don't Care..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"best friends don't care if your house is clean. they care if you have wine." Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank inside
"A True Friend..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"a true friend is one who makes you laugh so hard you pee a little." Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank inside
"I Really Love How..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"I really love how we can just look at each other and know that we're making fun of the same person." Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank...
"Women Know..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"women know. they just know. even if they don't, they still know. men don't get this, but women do, because they know." Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope;...
"A Day Without Golf..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"a day without golf is probably your wife's birthday" Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank inside
"When A Woman Says..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"when a woman says 'do whatever you want' do NOT do whatever you want." Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank inside
"My Wife Says..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"my wife says I have only two faults. I don't listen and some other shit she was yammering on about." Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank inside...
"The Officer Said..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"The officer said, 'you drinking?' I said, 'you buying?' We laughed and laughed. I need bail money." Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank inside
"I Just Ordered A Chicken..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"I just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first... I'll keep you posted." Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank inside...
"My Dentist Told Me..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"my dentist told me I needed a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?" Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank inside
"I Danced Like No One Was Watching..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance." Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank...
"My Age Is Very Inappropriate..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"my age is very inappropriate for my behavior." Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank inside
"You Know Some Days..." Card
$ 4.50 USD
"you know, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help" Greeting card -- 5x7", with brown kraft envelope; blank inside
People We Love Deeply Live... Card
$ 4.50 USD
- Outside: "People we love deeply never really leave us. They just show up in different places. Like in sunsets and in gardens. So sorry for your loss." - Inside:...
From One Old Goat... Card
$ 2.95 USD
- Outside: "From one old goat to another..." - Inside: "Have a very Happy Birthday!" - 5 x 7 card - Printed in USA on paper from responsibly managed forests.
I Think All This Talk... Card
$ 3.50 USD
- Outside: "I think all this talk about age is foolish. Every time I'm one year older, everyone else is too. - Gloria Swanson (1899-1983)" - Inside: "Happy Birthday" - 5 x...
Wishing You Nothing But Joy... Card
$ 2.95 USD
- Outside: "The whole world celebrated on the night you were born." - Inside: "Because there had never been anyone like you ever in the world... Happy Birthday!" - 5...
I Like Nonsense... Card
$ 2.95 USD
- Outside: "I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells." - Inside: "Have a happy birthday!" - 5 x 7 card - Printed in USA on paper from responsibly...
May All Your Birthday Fishes... Card
$ 5.00 USD
- Outside: "May All Your Birthday Fishes Come True" - Inside: Blank - Printed in the USA on 100# card stock - Each card comes with a matching envelope and...
You Never Know How Strong... Card
$ 3.50 USD
- Outside: "You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice. - Bob Marley (1945-1981)" - 5 x 7 card - Vegetable inks on acid-free, recycled, chlorine-free...
The Heck With Sugar... Card
$ 3.50 USD
- Outside: "The heck with sugar and spice. Courage, sacrifice, determination,commitment, toughness, talent, guts. That's what girls are made of. - Bethany Hamilton (b.1990)" - Inside: "Happy Birthday." - 5 x 7...
Those That Got It... Card
$ 3.50 USD
- Outside: "Those that got it can't hide it. - Zora Neale Hurston (1891-1960)" - Inside: "Happy Birthday." - 5 x 7 card - Vegetable inks on acid-free, recycled, chlorine-free paper
Remembering With You Card
$ 2.95 USD
- Outside: "Remembering with you . . ." - Inside: "The life of someone so dear. With Sincerest Sympathy." - 5 x 7 card - Printed in USA on paper...
Okay, So God Made Man... Card
$ 2.95 USD
- Outside: "Okay, so God made man first . . . but doesn't everyone make a rough draft before they make a masterpiece?" – Courtney Huston - Inside: "Happy Birthday...
Best Friends Make... Card
$ 2.95 USD
- Outside: ""Best friends make the good times better and the hard times easier." - Inside: "A little "group therapy" makes both even better!" - 5 x 7 card - Printed...
There Are No Words... Card
$ 2.95 USD
- Inside: "There are no words that can bring true comfort, but please know that our hearts are with you." - 5 x 7 card - Printed in USA on paper...
The Whole World Celebrated Card
$ 2.95 USD
- Outside: "The whole world celebrated on the night you were born." - Inside: "Because there had never been anyone like you ever in the world... Happy Birthday!" - 5...
Jumping for Joy Card
$ 2.95 USD
- Outside: "Jumping for joy is good exercise" - Inside: "Celebrate with enthusiasm on your birthday!" - 5 x 7 card - Printed in USA on paper from responsibly managed...
When It Comes Right Down To It... Card
$ 2.95 USD
- Outside: "When it comes right down to it, the secret to a happy life is a sense of humor . . ." - Inside: "And a good friend." -...
We Wanted To Be Adults Card
$ 3.95 USD
- Outside: "we wanted to be adults soooo bad. now look at us. just fucking look." - Inside: “happy birthday!” - 5 x 7 card - Printed in the USA...
You Drink Too Much Card
$ 3.95 USD
- Outside: "you drink too much. you curse too much. you’re everything I look for in a friend" - Inside: "happy birthday to the best partner in crime!" - 5...
There Comes a Time Card
$ 3.95 USD
- Outside: "there comes a time when you have to take it seriously. a no smoking, regular exercise, gluten free, multivitamin, yoga, no carbs, low sugar, probiotics, meditation, boot camp,...
Spilling Your Wine Card
$ 3.95 USD
- Outside: "spilling your wine is the adult equivalent of a child losing a helium balloon…" - Inside: "that “awwww shit” feeling is ageless!" - 5 x 7 card -...
Son of a B*tch Card
$ 3.95 USD
- Outside: "son of a bitch… I wonder what else my mother was right about?" - Inside: "(insert big sigh here)" - 5 x 7 card - Printed in the...
My Wrinkles Are From Laughter Card
$ 3.95 USD
- Outside: "my wrinkles are from laughter" - Inside: "except the ones between my eyebrows. those are my “wtf” lines, and those things run deep" - 5 x 7 card...
I Always Try To Be A Lady Card
$ 3.95 USD
- Outside: "I always try to be a lady. but sometimes, when I’m mad… I’m an evil sadistic demon spawned bitch from hell that will make you rue the day you...
Besties Card
$ 3.95 USD
- Outside: "Besties" - Inside: "because those other bitches? ha. ain’t nobody got time for that…" - 5 x 7 card - Printed in the USA on recycled fsc certified...
Have We Reached The Age... Birthday Card
$ 5.50 USD
It's not our fault! They don't need to make the text so small and the lights so dim! Paper: Bright White, Tree-Free 100% Cotton Paper Size: 4.25" x 5.5" Folded card,...
Wishing You An Extra Dirty Birthday Card
$ 6.00 USD
This card is letterpress printed on a vintage printing press and includes a heavy duty gold martini glass paper clip. Paper: Bright White, Tree-Free 100% Cotton Paper Size: 4.25" x 5.5" Folded...
Look At You Being Awesome Greeting Card
$ 5.50 USD
It's always a good idea to remind someone how great they are! Paper: Bright White, Tree-Free 100% Cotton Paper Size: 4.25" x 5.5" Folded card, blank inside
Good Things Come To Those Who... Greeting Card
$ 5.50 USD
It's always a good idea to remind someone how hard they work! Paper: Bright White, Tree-Free 100% Cotton Paper Size: 4.25" x 5.5" Folded card, blank inside
Cheers to You Birthday Girl Birthday Card
$ 6.00 USD
This card is letterpress printed on a vintage printing press and includes a heavy duty gold wine glass paper clip. Paper: Bright White, Tree-Free 100% Cotton Paper Ink: Neon Pink Envelope: Neon Pink...
OMG What Is Happening Birthday Card
$ 5.50 USD
There comes a time when we all realize that we're the adults now. Letterpress printed on a vintage printing press. Paper: Bright White, Tree-Free 100% Cotton Paper Size: 4.25" x...
This Calls For Bubbly Congrats Card
$ 6.00 USD
Letterpress printed on a vintage printing press, this card includes a heavy duty gold champagne bottle paper clip. Paper: Bright White, Tree-Free 100% Cotton Paper Ink: Holographic Foil Envelope: Metallic Silver Size: 4.25" x...
Doing This Life Thing With You Anniversary Card
$ 5.50 USD
This whole anniversary thing is pretty awesome, just like this card! Paper: Bright White, Tree-Free 100% Cotton Paper Size: 4.25" x 5.5" Folded card, blank inside
I'm Sorry I Called You Old Birthday Card
$ 5.50 USD
Sometimes the truth hurts, apologize while still wishing them a happy birthday! Paper: Bright White, Tree-Free 100% Cotton Paper Size: 4.25" x 5.5" Folded card, blank inside